Contact is unwanted or frightening—prioritize safety
Repeated unwanted visits, messages, following, threats, retaliation, or misuse of building access are not an awkward-dating problem. Preserve evidence, reduce exposure, and use building or local support appropriate to the risk.
Why this result fits
- Someone continues contact after being asked to stop or after consent was withdrawn.
- The person appears near your home or routine in a way that feels monitoring or threatening.
- Keys, access systems, staff, neighbors, or housing leverage may be involved.
What to do now
Respond to immediate danger
Move to a safer place and contact emergency services if there is an immediate threat. Do not open the door or confront the person alone.
Preserve evidence
Save messages, voicemails, screenshots, dates, times, witnesses, and relevant camera or access-log details. Keep copies somewhere the other person cannot access.
Secure building access
Tell management or security, in writing, about unwanted entry, copied keys, guest access, staff involvement, or needed lock and access-code changes.
Get specialized help
Contact local victim services, a legal advocate, or law enforcement as appropriate. Ask a trusted person to help with a safety plan and building communications.
Stop and escalate if
- There is an immediate threat, forced entry, violence, weapon, or medical emergency.
- The person has access to your unit, devices, accounts, or location data.
- Escalation follows a boundary, breakup, report, or access change.
What not to do
- Do not meet privately to get closure when you feel unsafe.
- Do not delete evidence or rely only on verbal reports.
- Do not share your location or safety plan with the person causing concern.
Message you can send to maintenance
I am reporting repeated unwanted contact from [person/unit if known], including [brief factual examples] on [dates/times]. I am concerned about [door/key/guest/access/common-area issue]. Please preserve relevant access or camera records, confirm who has unit access, and respond in writing with immediate safety measures.
Help prevent a repeat
- Review account passwords, location sharing, emergency contacts, and who has keys.
- Tell trusted people and building staff what information must not be shared.
- Keep a dated copy of every report and response.
If this does not match
Sources and review date
- Stalking — U.S. Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women
- Consent 101: Respect, Boundaries, and Building Trust — RAINN
Content last reviewed: under the Apartmentwise methodology.